Strong Island Rant: Why I Hate Online Gaming

Posted on Aug 26 2013 - 6:56pm by Strong Island Rob

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Yo Momma! Newb! Pwnd! These are only a taste of what drives me crazy in the video game world. Broken games that are sold at full retail value? Playing games online where 12-year old children are up way past their bedtime? “Bro” gamers who yell racial or sexual slurs? I could really go on forever, but I want to devote this segment to a topic in particular. This week’s rant will be about why I hate online play. For the record I do enjoy playing video games online, but there are so many reasons that squaring up against the online community just sucks. For all of the perks to online gaming such as communicating with friends and strangers and creating entertaining experiences, there are an equal amount of frustrations.

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1. Why the &^(%  are there so many bratty children playing these M-rated First Person Shooters?

Imagine playing games with your friends online and having a blast when all of a sudden this pre teen squeak of a voice shouts expletives with every other word. Apparently these 12- year old boys also know how to keep my mom happy in the bedroom and do so frequently. What’s that? Oh, I should visit noob camp this weekend so I can practice on becoming less of a noob? Fair enough. More often than not I find myself muting my headset and just play with the chat off completely. If I wanted to hear children scream and curse I would visit the local Chuck.E.Cheese and push that mouse off of the stage. So kids, if you are reading this, go to bed while adults try to have a civilized game of murder murder die die.

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2.Why are there so many haters online?

This kind of fits into the category above, but I feel like this needs its own subject. Again, playing online with friends or even by yourself can be a satisfying game play experience. However, let all it takes is one bro dude special with steroid sauce to ruin the entire game. If your team is losing a match, you will receive unrelenting torture from this specimen as he continues to launch into a rant about how you have no girlfriend and your gaming skillz-with a z- are lame. Much like the 12- year old, this gamer may just get under your skin a little more because they tend to be a bit older and should know better. I can’t help but wonder how long they have to wait until their hot pocket is ready so they can quit mid match when they start to lose. Even when the “hater” starts to lose apparently you still have no skill and every head shot or knife kill was a glitch or “you got lucky, bro”. However you look at it, this gamer is the worst of the worst and you are probably better off playing with sixteen friends instead encountering this pile of flaming jock strap.

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3. The flaws of the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 online play.

First off, I am a Playstation fan all the way, but I even acknowledge the flaws that this system and the Xbox 360 carry. First off, I love and appreciate that Playstation online gaming is completely free, but that doesn’t mean it can get away with anything. The download times, and interaction are quite irritating at times. Imagine that a new game comes out that you want to play online with your friends, but you can’t get to the store. Just download it and start playing, right? Oh god, no. If it were only that simple. Waiting for games to download via the PSN is a complete chore and takes hours to install a larger title. Also, when you do get online the interaction can be quite scarce. Although there is a lack of communication it is wonderful to feel less threatened and tormented by the gamers that seem to flock all over the Xbox 360. That is my huge complaint about the Xbox 360- the online community. There has nary been a game that I played online that didn’t involve a mile long list of expletives from players that mostly involve characters from 1 and 2 above.  There is not too much to complain about the current generation that can be fixed by the developers besides the speed of downloading software. All they need now is to ban every gamer that wants to put it my mother.